Canadians can be rather stiff fantasy football competition

By - Jeff Mertes

Should Canadians be allowed to participate in NFL based fantasy football?  After all, they do have a long established pro football league of their very own – the CFL.  And they’ve been battling for the Grey Cup since way back in 1909.  Next to hockey and curling, or maybe baseball, football is the Canadian game, eh.

Canadian football evolved from rugby, as did the American version.  It seems, though, that grid contests north of the border got an early dose of steroids.  The field is 110 yards long and 65 yards wide.  Plus the end zone extends for 20 yards.  It seems logical that CFL teams use twelve players per side rather than eleven on such a gargantuan playing surface.

Oddly, Canadian teams didn’t throw forward passes until Calgary tossed one in 1928 (What a novel idea, eh?).  Now, they fling them willy-nilly on a majority of plays.  Of course, with only three downs to make ten yards, the offensive attack needs to be more wide open than the Yankee version.  Punters are always trotting on and off the field – makes a fan kind of tired just watching ‘em.

Admittedly, for years Canadian football teams seemed to be nickname challenged with a quarter of the pro franchises sporting essentially the same name – Rough Riders (Ottawa) and Roughriders (Saskatchewan).  But that ended with the demise of the Ottawa team for a few years followed by its resurrection as the Renegades.

So, why don’t Canucks proudly wave the maple leaf and concentrate on their own game?  Good question.  Maybe it’s something else to be blamed on NAFTA.  Unfortunately, Canadians have taken to fantasy football NFL style.  Don’t get me wrong, its great that the game is becoming so popular in the provinces.  The unfortunate part is strictly personal.

After more or less dominating the league that I have participated in since 1990 by winning the most games and titles, a Canadian has grabbed the championship in back-to-back years.  Most painfully for me was in 2002 when his safety, Darren Sharper, greedily stepped in front of my safety, Marques Anderson, and snatched an interception late in the Sunday night game that made it possible for the Tenderloin Bowl title to go north of the border (really south of the border since it went to Victoria) for the first time after an upset one point victory.

Brian McGrath and his Van Isle Salmonbellies were the culprits.  Hardly seems fair.  Whatever happened to 54-40 or fight?  When McGrath first got involved about nine years ago, he was already a Raiders fan.  Of course, the guy had been dispatched from Vancouver by his parents to finish the last couple of years of high school in Newfoundland, so what could be expected?  He spent excruciatingly long winter nights memorizing the World Almanac by flickering fire light.  He still wears black socks and shorts.

Just about every year, we get together to take in a Seahawks game since it was at a watering hole called Bogard’s prior to a ‘Hawks-Raiders smack-down that we first met in the days before the Kingdome was mercifully imploded.  One year, after post-game celebration, he got out of bed in the wee hours to relieve himself, groggily exited the hotel room door, rather than into the bathroom, and closed it behind him.  Not only did he come to the realization of being locked out of the room in the hallway, but McGrath also sleeps in the buff.  He tried in vain to awaken his comatose buddy Russ with subdued pleas and whining without waking everybody on the floor.  Just then, the elevator door opened and…well that’s another story.

Indeed, Canadians can be rather stiff competition.  Rumor has it that if a third straight title goes to Victoria, we’ll have to include rouges in the league scoring mix.  Quick, pass the Moosehead.